PSL for Addams Family

[creepyoldguy]

 New Hades had been fun, but, the novelty was wearing thin.  Especially since the giant demon hadn't eaten Sho.  To top it off, none of the routes he and Crowley had found worked.   So, he fell back on what he was most familiar with: drawing a door.   

Beetlejuice had figured drawing a door at worst, wouldn't work, at best, take him the Netherworld and he could go back to the Upperworld and stalk his favorite living/dead family from a safe distance. 

He'd even half-expected it to drop him back on campus (hopefully near Birony, who'd become his crush d'jour).   What he hadn't expected was to be dropped from the roof of a creepy old house, face first into an unfamiliar lawn. "GAAAH! Why does this keep happening?!"

WHUMP.



The impact knocked him out, just as it had when Lydia had yeeted his demonic butt off of her roof.   Only this time, someone had a very visible demon pancake as a lawn ornament, instead of a very invisible one.   

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[weekday_name]

Wednesday looked up at the impact. She had been sitting on a branch of her favorite dead tree, reading a book to the ravens. "Pugsley?" she asked. Getting no response she dropped from the tree. She stuck the landing. A pity, not even a broken leg. She'd have to try harder next time.

She made her way to where he had landed and inspected him. She rolled him onto his back. Probably one of her uncle's friends. And clearly dead. Lucky for them both he landed in the graveyard.

Wednesday set to digging. Before long Thing had come out to help. They managed a good deep grave. She tossed some sharp rocks into the bottom. She wanted him to be comfortable, after all. Then she shoved him in. She jumped in after him to cross his arms and arrange him properly, then hauled herself out.

He'd come to as she was shoveling dirt onto his face, the moon full behind her.

[creepyoldguy]

Beetlejuice sat up, sputtering, spitting dirt out of his mouth. It wasn't the first time he'd woken up in a grave, but, usually there'd been an epic party beforehand. He looked up, amber eyes glowing softly in the dark to see who had been shoveling dirt onto him.

"Lyd--wait, no. Smaller. Holy moly, they keep making goths tinier and tinier. Pocket goths. Teacup goths," he rambled, pulling a sharp rock out of between his shoulder blades. The demon scurried up out of the grave with ease, shaking himself off like a dog to get rid of his newest coating of grime.

"Hi, living girl!"

[weekday_name]

"Oh, you're alive. How dreadful," she said in the same deadpan. She stabbed her shovel into the dirt pile beside her. "A shame to waste a good grave..." Perhaps Uncle Fester would like to camp out? She turned to face him wiping her hands against each other to get the loose night soil off of them. "Are you here to see my parents?"

[creepyoldguy]

"I'm not alive, I'm a demon." Beetlejuice tilted his head at her. The kid reminded him of Lydia, at least in her delivery. "I was born dead."

He glanced around taking in the grounds. "Nice digs. Nah, I don't know who your folks are. Or who you are. Or who your disemobodied hand is."

[weekday_name]

"And actual demon? Or just a corpse playing a trick on me?" she asked.

Her eyes flicked over. "This is Thing. I thought he had gone inside."

Thing gestured back towards the house.

"Oh. Dinner is ready," she said. "Thank you, thing."

[creepyoldguy]

"Literal demon, like my Ma." He stuck out his striped tongue and showed off his fangs. "Also a corpse. Part of the whole born-dead thing."

"Hey, Thing. S'up?"

[weekday_name]

"Interesting. You will join us for dinner won't you? Mother made arsenic soup." She turned and started for the house, not looking to see if he followed. Think jumped up to land on her shoulder.

[creepyoldguy]

"Really? You're inviting me?" He was too eager to be suspicious. His hair shifted to a brighter shade of green while he followed along.

"I like arsenic. Never had it in soup, that'll be new."

[weekday_name]

"Why not? Mother always makes plenty," she said. "Besides, I could use some help after dinner. My chair has been sticking. I could use someone else to help, and my brother won't be able to reach."

[creepyoldguy]

"Hm? Help reach what?"

Oh, this gothling had a brother. That was new! Lydia had been an only child. Beetlejuice suspected she wouldn't have been so quick to summon a demon if she'd had a sibling to bounce off of. Which was a depressing thought.

Either that, or, the three of them would have had a blast, and there wouldn't have been a misunderstanding, and he'd have been able to keep his friends with him---he stopped walking and floated thoughtfully behind the girl and her pet hand.

[weekday_name]

Hey, Thing wasn't a pet! He was family.

"The switch. It would be foolish to make an Electric chair so that the person in the seat could reach the switch."

The back door was opened by Lurch. Thing jumped up to his shoulder as he groaned at Beetlejuice.

"This is my new friend, Lurch. He will be joining us for dinner."

Lurch groaned again and nodded, standing aside so they could pass.

[creepyoldguy]

"Oooh, sounds fun!" Now, he was pretty sure electric chairs were fatal for breathers, but, maybe he'd been wrong.

Beetlejuice craned his neck back to look up at Lurch. He was a short demon by default, a trait he'd inherited from his mother. "Hey, Lurch." He waved cheerfully.

[weekday_name]

He never met these breathers.

Lurch nodded and groaned. As they crossed through the ooky living room towards the kitchen an explosion from above rocked the house.

Morticia came out, arms crossed lightly as she sighed. "I told your brother to come down for dinner, and instead he is shooting off his dynamite." She shook her head. "Lurch, please bring Pugsly to the table. Thing, can you let Uncle Fester know dinner is ready?" Once they both went off to do that, Morticia turned to face Wednesdayand BJ. "And who is your hideous little friend, dear?"

"He's a demon I found in the graveyard, mother. Can I keep him?"

"Well, I suppose that is up to him, Wednesday. Demons do have rights and feelings after all. And besides, where would he sleep?"

"There is a spare coffin in the play room."

"I suppose there is."

[creepyoldguy]

Beetlejuice tilted his head from side to side, taking in the decor. It needed more stripes, but, he found it fairly appealing even without. He kept sniffing the air to make sure he wasn't in some part of the Netherworld, but, the smell of the living was very much present. If a bit diluted with sulfur and decay.

All in all it was weirdly comforting.

His head snapped towards Morticia, and he tried automatically to say his Name, but as usual the curse closed his throat and forced his mouth shut with a snap. What he managed to say was "Bug-beverage" which was closer than he usually managed.

"NO. Sorry, I'm cursed. Not my Name. Ah...you guys any good at charades?"

He knew he should be insulted at the prospect of being kept as a pet, but, darned few people wanted him around, let alone wanted to give him a place to crash. Even the school built a room that was specifically built to contain him if he went off his nut (again), meaning he didn't even get a roomie to hang out with.

"Wait, y'want me to stay?"

[weekday_name]

"Of course," Morticia said. "Why ever wouldn't we? As for Charades, Gomez and Fester are better at that than I am. Or Thing. He really is quite handy with such things."

"Could you carve it?" Wednesday asked. She could borrow one of her father's swallowing swords, if need be.

[creepyoldguy]

"A lot of people have issues with demons and dead guys, and I'm both, so---hey, nice change of pace!"

Beetlejuice hummed. "I can't spell it half the time," and he truthfully wasn't sure if that was the curse or just him. "Just, uh, don't say it thrice. You can shorten it how you like. But, uh, saying the whole thing does get my attention."

It was either a push or a pull depending on the situation. There was a reason he never told his Lydia about saying it three times again. Although, in hindsight, it would have saved him an impaling if he had.

[weekday_name]

"Those are simply the sort of people we do not care to know then," Morticia said, heading to the table. "Do sit. Mind the octopus."

Wednesday followed and took her seat. "You cannot spell your own name?" How odd. "And we should not say it three times once we know it?" She lifted her knife - they were having soup, and yet. forks and knives as well as spoons. "What about thirteen times?" she asked as she tested the edge against one of her hairs.

[creepyoldguy]

"I sometimes forget which language I'm speaking, and what the letters in that language are called, and then what order they go in."

Beetlejuice watched her with a curious head-tilt before answering. "Thirteen?" He did some multiplication on his fingers. Three no, six yes, nine no, twelve yes-- "Thirteen would be okay."

He poked his head under the table to say 'hi' to the octopus, sprouting a couple extra arms in case it wanted to play.

[weekday_name]

"Thirteen it is then," Wednesday said calmly.

Pugsley came into the room, eyebrows slightly singed. To see someone else in stripes playing with Aristotle. Was he being replaced? Would they at least kill him properly first? He took a seat next to BJ as his octopus left off with the demon to climb up its boy's leg to plop onto his head.

"This is my brother. Pugsley, this is the demon I found in the graveyard."

[creepyoldguy]

"Hiya, Pugs." Beetlejuice retracted the extra arms and waved with his remaining right hand. "Did ya blow something up?"

[weekday_name]

He nodded. "I was playing with a friend from school."

"Will he be staying for dinner?" Morticia asked. "I shall have to set an extra place, if so."

"No mother. He left suddenly."

"Very well then."

[creepyoldguy]

Beetlejuice certainly wasn't going to judge. Lydia and he had traumatized enough people in three days to pay for a few therapists' timeshares.

"Some people don't appreciate fun," he remarked.

[weekday_name]

"Astute assessment, old man," Gomez said coming in, cigar lit and puffing. "Can't say I;ve had the pleasure," he added, walking over with a hand extended to shake.

[creepyoldguy]

"I'm a demon from the Netherworld. I fell out of a portal near your roof and landed in your yard," Beetlejuice said cheerfully, shaking Gomez's hand. "Your daughter tried to bury me."

[weekday_name]

"Excellent. Always good to see one's children excelling and branching out. How long will you be staying then, hopefully a while? It has been ages since we've had a demon for a houseguest."